Can't get it up???

Here's a funny sign my wife spotted. The sign reads "YangWei, ZhaoXie" which if read sounds exactly like the sound for the words "Impotence, Premature Ejaculation" in Mandarin. It actually advertises for a Chinese doctor, we assume for these conditions.

What's remarkable, besides this sign being out in the open on a major thoroughfare, is that the characters used are totally wrong. We assume that it was done to throw kids of the scent.

However, kids are pretty smart these days. I give them more credit than perhaps the sign creators have. My guess is that kids and adults alike will get a chuckle out of this sign.

Of course, it is entirely possible that the creators of the sign knew this would happen all along and did it for effect. They make a futile attempt at hiding the meaning, knowing all the while the marketing job is done and they have covered their asses in the eyes of prudish parents.

That's Taiwanese ingenuity for you!

Blinky the three-eyed fish awaits

It always kills me how people can frolic in the waters in Kenting and be completely oblivious to the nuclear plant just meters from the beach.

It's clearly visible in the background. And although it's probably claimed safe and probably is safe, wouldn't you still want to err on the side of caution???

Most Taiwanese are ok anyhow. Lots of Taiwanese don't go in deeper than waist deep as they are not swimmers. Students often refer to "play water" which usually means wading and splashing around with friends.

My guess is that Taiwan built the nuclear plant there long before people got into the beach craze. Masses of Taiwanese heading to the beach and beach culture can be seen as relatively recent thing in Taiwan. As are bikinis. When I first arrived in 1997, girls rarely wore bikinis at the beach. Typically they wore shorts and a t-shirt. Thank god for progress on this front!

The Height of Convenience

The pursuit of convenience seems to define the Taiwanese. Always looking to cut corners to simplify life. Looking for shortcuts to success and riches.

The overuse of the word "convenience" in English by Taiwanese is a matter of fact. It has some funny and questionable uses such as in "Traffic is convenient" (which actually should be interpreted as meaning transportation around the city provides convenience to get around).

In the end, Taiwanese are just attempting to describe their 7eleven around every corner (or often 2 or 3 7elevens per city block!) mentality of convenience.

For example, check out this girl lighting her coal BBQ using a spray can blow torch. Similarly, I've also seen people use hair dryers as well to get the show on the road. No time-wasting fan waving and blowing on the coal chunks for these guys!

Any other tales of locals (or expats) achieving the ultimate convenience in Taiwan? Drop me a line...

Praying to Matsu the 3G way

Here's a new twist. Too lazy to make it to the temple? What to worship Matsu? Now you can on your 3G phone.

Chinapost

I must have missed this story a few weeks back but I have seen cellphone provider Vibo's ads on TV for this new service lately. They feature a young girl telling her mother that the new way to worship is 3G. She then puts the cellphone to her head as people would with incense sticks at the temple and proceeds to pray.

According to the article:
"Through uniquely designed software, customers can pay their respects to Matsu, pick fortune texts, and throw the crescent-shaped wooden divining tools to seek good luck and answers from the deity."

Count on the Taiwanese to put a high tech twist on local religion. Couple this with the height of convenience and you have a winning mix.

BTW, it's not the first time that Matsu has met high tech. OKWAP has (had) a model of phone dedicated to Matsu as well...

Engadget

Last minute campaigning

Oh, do my eyes deceive me?

Caught the 101 New Year's message on the tower again on the eve of the election of the legislators. Coincidence or a last minute plea for votes?

At 10pm it had already disappeared which seems to be in accordance with the election law. No campaigning after 10pm I believe...

Can anyone confirm this?

Click on the picture for a closer look. The tower reads 2008 Love (a heart) Taiwan.

Playing the Nazi card... again!!!

When will it ever end? Your a Nazi, I'm a Nazi, everyone's a Nazi!

Here's a political party banner on a Taipei bridge. Looks harmless right? Guy in a Mao suit (in Taiwan it's called a ZhongShan suit after Sun Yat-Sen). Picture of Sun Yat-Sen up above.

And then down below... Oh, aren't they cute, President Chen and Ma Ying-Jiou. But wait! What's that I see? Could it be? Naw! That's impossible! Not after using it the last election!

You got it! Nazi symbolism is once again being used to put down politicians. Chen even has the little mustache!

In case you aren't familiar with the practice, take a look at a few posters from the previous elections. Notice the use of Hitler and Saddam Hussein. Saddam has gotten a reprieve this time around...


















It will be interesting to see what kind of mud they dig up for the Presidential race.

If you would like to see my other articles written about the Nazi influence in Taiwan, use the Google search on this page and search using the word "Nazi".

Could this be more of a blatant slap in the face?

This now looks like a pile of crap. Was that their intention?

Regardless of what you think of the guy, this is a real eyesore. The addition of the kites makes it look like some kind of freak show Halloween party. Those are kites hanging there but they look more like masks. This could not be unintentional. And what an ugly mismatch of styles. Not artistically appealing at all.

Nor meaningful. I really don't see the link between kites and peace. Furthermore, I think a lot of visitors won't either! Although I might be sympathetic if it were done in a constructive way, I'm convinced that this rectification of names and sites campaign is just a cover for the government and rectification groups to sow their revenge. They can finally have their chuckle at how tacky this looks.

Unfortunately these spiteful acts acts are done at the public's expense. If there is a change in government, watch for an immediate (and costly) reversal of this policy.

eee PC has some serious supply problems!

I ordered my 8GB version of the eee PC on December 23, 2007 and it still hasn't come into the store yet. What the #$%^? It's been over 2 weeks now!

I have gotten all kinds of stories from the retailers. Out of stock, doing inventory, whatever...

3C and Best even list it in the stores with a price around $14500 but I have yet to see even one on the shelves. They claim that they had some 8GB versions before but they sold out. Can anyone confirm that the 8GB versions have even come out yet?

In fact, I believe there's a huge supply problem in China. The prime culprit may be Apple. Apple is already pissed at Asus for beating it to the bullet with this computer. It has it's own plans for flash memory computers, as does Dell.

See:The Most Hated Company In the PC Industry

And although some have pointed to the hard time securing 7" LCD monitors, in fact I believe Asus is competing with Apple to secure a supply of 8GB flash memory. A quick scan of store flyers will tell you that Apple iPod Touch and iPhone are the only other top selling tech to carry an 8GB flash memory card internally.

Well, these are my suspicions. Can anyone confirm or deny this? Damn the dealers lousy excuses!

Corny foreigner ads in Taiwan... What a bunch of sell-outs!

It has come up in conversation recently that there are truly corny ads here using foreigners.

The first one that comes to mind is that Tarzan guy for the insurance company. He looks like some guy they picked off the street and his acting is less than stellar.

However, the Orlando Bloom ads for Toyota have just started running which might be comparable. They are amazing to the extent of how bad he acts in them. Not much effort was put into them. Oh well, Orlando is still cashing that check!

By the way, the choice of Orlando for an Asian ad is a pretty good idea since most Asian girls go gaga over him due to his Lord of the Rings performance as an elf... yes, a freakin' elf! It seems girls kind of go for that pseudo-gay elfen type for a sex-symbol.

If you want to see even worse Hollywood sell-out ads, look for Lux soap. Liz Tyler and Chalize Theron are my favorites although Rachel Weisz as a mermaid also crack me up. Maybe you can also find sell-out Claire Forlani, Catherine Zeta Jones for Visa or even Brad Pitt's Toyota ads as well...

Dubai World Islands - Who owns Taiwan???

Or better yet, is there even a Taiwan island???

I was watching Discovery with my wife when we saw a documentary about Dubai's next land mass project The World.

You may have already heard of Dubai's Palm Island. The World is the next big project originally intended to have private islands for millionaires but now opening up to hotel and resort developers.

One Irish contingent plans to fashion their island with luscious green grass just like that of Ireland, in the middle of a desert climate!!!

So it got me thinking (upon my wife wondering out loud) about if Taiwan had an island and who would be allowed to purchase it. Maybe this is China's big chance to get their paws on Taiwan, albeit without the military, political, social and economic impact of a real life capture.

The websites devoted to The World Islands don't offer much help with regard to whether a Taiwan island exists. It would be interesting to know. And if so, has it been purchased and by who?

Here is what the island developments will look like in the end...

Merry Xmas from Taiwan 2007

Here is something I have never seen before. It's a picture of carolers singing in front of a police station. And although I shouldn't be too surprised to see carolers, I was surprised to see them out in the terrible weather we've been having of late.

Merry Xmas to all my readers. Hope you expat types are not too homesick. Get someone and shack up somewhere!

In other news, Xmas activities are taking over Constitution Day events. Apparently:

"Taichung citizens could light lamps on their Christmas trees free of charge. The municipal government would pay their power bills."

Christmas celebrations trump Constitution Day in Taiwan

Wow! City government supporting a religious holiday. Wonder how long the ignorance will last?

Book Reading: Notes from the Other China

I'm also the creator of Troy Parfitt's website http//www.troyparfitt.com for his book "Notes from the Other China".

Check it out for info about the author, particularly the regularly updated blog excepts that are outtakes and b-sides from his "Notes from the Other China".

Just wanted to add too that The Notes from the Other China book launch will occur on Saturday, Dec. 15 at Taipei's PS Cafe located just northwest of the Zhongxiao-Dunhua MRT/intersection. The address is 181 Dunhua S. Rd. Section 1. Their phone number is: 2776-0970.

Troy is going to do a brief reading, and we'll be all having some wine.

See you there and check out the site!

The Eee PC is here!

In case you have been living on Mars (oh yeah, living in Taiwan is a bit like that), then you are aware that the future is here. And it is the ASUS eee PC!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ASUS_Eee_PC
http://eeepc.asus.com/global/product.htm

It's roughly half the size of a regular laptop and it's totally stripped down to basics. 7" monitor, no cd player and, this is the clincher, no hard drive. That's right! This is a computer with a flash drive!

As such, this is the computer that everyone is talking about and looking at in stores and at computer shows. CNET has pronounced it one of the most likely gifts under the tree this Xmas. Asus thinks it can sell an amazing 3.8 million units too! They may just be right as the Eee PC has been selling like hotcakes and is sold out in many places.

There are some limitations due to the fact that it uses Linux and not Windows but the flavor of Linux used is very easy to use, with icons and easy tools. Also, there are two main models with 4GB and 8GB storage space respectively. With an OS on the flash drive as well occupying 2.5 GB then that doesn't leave a lot of space.

However, it comes equipped for what many people say the direction of things are going. Instead of storing your files locally, you can upload them to the web using such things as Google Docs.

Personally, I see this as a truly mobile laptop at only .92kg (no more lugging around hefty laptop with a sore shoulder). All the rest of that stuff like drive space, playing games, cd player, bluetooth are really all unecessary on a stripped down laptop.

I would use it to surf the net around the house (ie. move it around). I would also use it for teaching privates at WIFI hotspots. also, i could use it as a light presentation tool (usign the pre-installed Open Office suite with a program similar to Powerpoint) for the classroom or business classes. Finally, I could use it to watch downloaded movies on our flat screen TV. Or I could put a few movies on it for the road...

In the end, the Eee PC represents the first major move away from moving parts (CD, HD) in computers. The result will be lighter and less power consuming (hot) portables from now on...

Here's a great review:
http://www.linuxlinks.com/article/20071204141457291/Asus-701-Introduction.html

Alexander the Great Falls

Alexander Gym, of which I am a member, collapsed yesterday. Although I didn't have much to lose considering my contract was nearly finished, I'm sure a lot of people have been caught.

Personally, after the investors and employees have been paid, I doubt that members will get back any money.

I guess people didn't learn the lesson from the previous big closure of a high profile gym in Taipei 101. At that time, there was talk about limiting gym memberships to just 1 year at a time to prevent such disasters...

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/biz/archives/2007/12/11/2003392128

California Fitness must be laughing its way to the bank. If they were smart, they'd try to lure the former Alexander members over with some incentives.

The latest on the MRT's future

This time in English. Who knows what kind of a time span but ambitious none the less...

Luxy on a Sunday night

Just one more example...

A girl poses in front of a Nazi flag somewhere in Taiwan. She is obviously unaware of the association she is making and is likely totally clueless about world history. Taiwanese tend to be very inward-looking. Hopefully this will change over time but I'm not crossing my fingers.

Use the Google search to the right to search for more of my articles about Taiwan and Nazism.

Hello Kitty Beaujolais Wine

What will they think of next for Hello Kitty?
Kitty Cigarettes?
Kitty Tampons?
Maybe these already exist....

Lucky this guy was drunk

Made in Taiwan: The Tattoo

I've been joking about this for a long time with my students. Somehow I imagined it would be a little more interesting looking than this. Maybe like a barcode?